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Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: How to Get What You Want in Your Relationships | 
 enlarge | Author: John Gray
Publisher: Thorsons
Category: Book
List Price: £8.99
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Avg. Customer Rating:  29 reviews
Sales Rank: 1708
Media: Paperback
Edition: New Ed
Pages: 304
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.6
Dimensions (in): 7.7 x 5 x 0.9
ISBN: 0007152590
Dewey Decimal Number: 150
EAN: 9780007152599
ASIN: 0007152590
Publication Date: November 4, 2002
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From Amazon.co.uk
A classic and unique self-help book, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus tackles the perennial problems faced by couples everywhere. Gray tells an allegorical story of the Venusians and the Martians who move to Earth, having enjoyed wonderful and fulfilling relationships with one another for many years. However, as soon as they arrive on this planet, amnesia sets in! They can no longer remember that they are from different planets and all sorts of communication and emotional problems set in. Written in an unpretentious and jargon-free style, Gray's tactic of using "Venusian" and "Martian" to refer to the two genders (and he does comment that these roles are not necessarily based on sexual biology) avoids the dead-end path followed by so many people, of using sweeping statements such as: "men always..." or "women just don't understand...". Instead, he says: "Venusians are from a different planet, therefore..." or "Martians need...". This in itself is a worthwhile tactic, removing blame and shifting communication onto a new level where it is OK not to be on the same wavelength all the time and not to automatically understand all your partner's needs. His new naming strategy even manages to be amusing, in a way that many books in this area can fail to be, although the writing tends towards over-simplicity at times. He discusses every aspect of relationships--but most importantly he does this in practical ways. For example, he lists common statements that people in relationships say to their partners, what is intended, what is actually heard. Gray goes on to suggest ways to say what you intended that are more appropriate for the Venusian or Martian audienc--he even compiles lists of translations of common male/female exchanges. The tone of the book is always helpful, friendly and non-judgmental, kind and well-meaning, although the typical self-help strategy of repeating and summarising points results in the book seeming somewhat directionless. It is nevertheless an essential title for the bookshelf of every self-respecting self-help addict, and is a good place to start for the curious. It does also have some real gems of wisdom and new strategies. All in all, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus is a star guide to understanding the constellations of coupledom. --Alison Jardine
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| Customer Reviews: Read 24 more reviews...
 Not a book to be tossed aside lightly... December 4, 2008
Dorothy Parker said, "This is not a book to be tossed aside lightly, it should be thrown with great force." I had always had respect for books before I read this book. I hurled it across the room in fury. Never have I read such cliche ridden rubbish. Don't waste your money.
 Some quality info.. October 29, 2008
0 out of 1 found this review helpful
This book is presented in an easy to read format although it is particularly cheesy and repetitive. The Mars vs Venus comparison isn't just reserved for the title, men are constantly referred to as Martians and women as Venusians which can become quite annoying as you read further into the book.
The main points are repeated religiously, men crave approval and need to be adored, also if they are being quiet it is because they are in their cave and you need to just shut up and leave them to it. Women need to talk about all their problems and like to nag, and feel abandoned whenever men won't listen to their every problem. There is of course much more information in the book but these points are covered to such a degree that they are stored forever into my memory.
If the actual different points covered were written out seperately and covered without constant repeating of information then this book would be alot shorter and easier to read.
Despite all this there are reasonable and usable pieces of information which will help you understand the other person in your relationship alot better. Although the examples given are generally focused on married couples who have been together for a long period of time, there isn't much specifically aimed at new couples. I was also slightly disappointed that there were no tips on how to win someone back after you've lost them. There are tips which say men need to listen to women to get them back but as I recall there wasn't alot on the side of how to win back a man after he has given up.
If you seriously want to improve your relationships then this is worth a read, although you shouldn't expect it to cover everything and should invest in a few more books to get a wider range of information!
 Great Guidebook July 31, 2008
1 out of 3 found this review helpful
A lot has been said already about this book over the years since it first hit the shelves, and I'm not sure I can offer any new information. I believe everybody should either read this book or books like it. We all need a greater understanding; not just of others (our partners, family and friends), but also of ourselves.
The more compatible a couple naturally is the better they will get on. That's just logical. But sometimes we need to be aware of, and reminded of, the differences between men and women so they ae are more tolerant and understanding; particularly during rough patches of life.
Dr. John Gray offers a great insight into these differences and tackles the subject matter in an informative, but at the same time, light-hearted and fun manner. I enjoyed this book. Some of the information I already knew, but there were definitely new insights I learner and understood better regarding men and women. I regularly find myself refering to this text to remind myself of these differences, and to remember to be more tolerant and understanding.
How To Keep Your Man: And Keep Him For Good
Real Life Dramas - Volume One: 1
Darren G. Burton
Words of Wisdom July 14, 2008
0 out of 3 found this review helpful
This book probably won't seem terribly relevant if you are in the first flush of romance. But if you hope to be in a relationship for the long haul, then this is the book for you. It changed my marriage immesurably for the better and throws light on how to communicate what you want effectively and without becoming angry or defensive. John Gray hits the nail on the head so many times, my husband and I learned a huge amount about what makes us tick and why we behave the way we do. While this was written before scientific research confirmed the differences between male and female brains, work done since has backed up Dr Gray's theories and he has written a number of more up to date volumes since. A little repetitive toards the end but Highly Recommended, none the less.
 A lot of good information January 11, 2008
2 out of 5 found this review helpful
I agree with many of the previous reviews that the differences Gray has observed in men and women are contained in the first few chapters and the rest of the book goes on to illustrate these. I also agree that the book makes sweeping statements and assumptions about gender behaviour and ways men and women think. It also assumes that all men are broadly the same, and that likewise all women are also broadly the same, which is clearly not the case.
However, unlike virtually anything else written on the subject anywhere, the book is actually based upon genuine empirical research undertaken by Gray (despite his dubious PhD qualification) into the way real people behave, and so has a great deal of value. There are also many second-rate `copy-cat' publications out there which say the same kind of things, but I think this is the best book on the subject. I personally believe that both men and women display much of the behaviours described here and so we can all learn how to relate better with each other.
Although sound research on the subject is almost totally lacking, I personally believe that 90+% of the differences described are due to external factors and social conditioning, and are not genetic. The key thing here is to make use of the suggestions and solutions provided, and improve the way we behave to our nearest and dearest and reap the benefits!
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